What Emotional Intelligence is? & 10 Ways to Build Emotional Intelligence Skills?

How to Deal with Your Emotions?

Emotional intelligence is a quality by which a person can manage his emotions and express them efficiently. Mental strength is also important! Being emotional doesn’t have to mean crying. It tends to think of being emotional as a sign of weakness, but if you think about it. A big dude with muscles throwing an outburst because he didn’t like how someone looked at him is clearly the (emotionally) weak one here. Just don’t tell him I said that!

woman wearing a black dress
Now let me explain “what emotional intelligence is and how to build emotional intelligence skills”?

Physical strength is one thing, but how emotionally strong you are? I wasn’t sure how to answer that! Understanding and managing our emotions effectively isn’t always easy, but after reading this I’ll have you on your way to become an emotional powerhouse! Think of this as a workout for your mind! It might not be able to give you the abs you want, but I believe it’ll help you get the life you want!

Imagine being able to understand what people are really feeling and not just what they’re saying. Or, influencing people’s decisions because of how well you communicate? Nope, this is not magic, it’s science.

I’m also an Emotional, But I Don’t Show It!

I’m an emotional person and society has sometimes made me feel like it’s one of my weaknesses, when in reality it is actually a strength… if you can learn to be smart about your emotions! When I say I’m emotional, I don’t mean I cry a lot. I rarely cry. I also don’t mean I rage either. What I mean is that I feel deeply. Getting more knowledge about emotional intelligence has helped me a lot not only understand how to control my emotions wisely, but also that emotional intelligence is an amazing practice we all should learn! After learning about it and build emotional strength skills, I have realized that I am much emotionally strong, to begin with. I have been raised to control my emotions effectively from a young age, which keeps me as an adult.

Knowing your EQ may be more important than your IQ. Emotionally intelligent people are more confident, focused, and more likely to succeed source. They also understand others really well!

A Emotional person

I’m sure you’ve heard of Emotional Intelligence, but if not – it involves understanding and managing your emotions well, intelligently! Through recognizing your emotions, you can better control your life and understand those around you! It’s becoming more popular as we discover the benefits and importance of EI and not just the old standard IQ! How we handle certain situations and circumstances, how we deal with our feelings and express our emotions has a major impact on our relationships, jobs, and lives. Our feelings are literally everything we are! For some people, it seems to come naturally. Maybe they grew up with emotionally intelligent parents and were taught from a young age the tools to manage how they think and feel. Or maybe it’s partially in your genes. Either way, there are many tools you can use to help manage your emotions, better!

What Emotional Intelligence is?

So, what emotional intelligence is? I consider it like a missing piece of your puzzle. It’s like that cartoon of the girl saying, Oh, I knew I forgot something. A career! we become aware that everyone forgot to tell us how to be smart about our emotions. At least in words, we could understand!

But are you or are you not smart about your emotions? I didn’t really understand how to assess how I deal with my emotions, so I decided to do some research!

As kids, we often throw outburst and are taught how to better handle our emotions. This sets up us for emotional intelligence. But each of us handles our own emotions, our own way, and how we do this has a great impact on our lives. Most of the children were not taught how to handle their emotions and still throw outburst as adults when they’re upset or overwhelmed! People who can’t control their emotions or have a hard time expressing their feelings don’t likely have a higher EQ. But, there are ways to strengthen your emotional intelligence.

How To Assess Your Emotional Strength?

One standard for judging your emotional intelligence skills would certainly be how well things are going for you at work and at home because our EQ is more important to our happiness, health, and success than IQ.

If things aren’t going well, you can probably improve your life drastically by improving your emotional intelligence! The great thing about it is, you learn the tools, and then the applications are all around you. No matter which kind of situation you’re in, or in which kind of circumstance, improving your Emotional Intelligence skills will help. You’ll become more aware of what’s going on around you the things you couldn’t quite grasp before. You’ll also become a lot more knowledgeable about what’s going on with other people, and isn’t that always the most difficult thing to figure out?

Recognizing Others’ Emotions

Approx 90 % of any person’s emotional expression takes place without speaking! Reading a person’s nonverbal behavior can help you understand a person’s motives much more accurately than just listening to what their mouths are saying. The body talks too, and often louder than words!

Read the facial expression on a person, how he sits, how he walks, his tone of voice, the moments of silence, the look in his eyes! These are all clues as to how someone is feeling emotionally.

Why Is This Important?

They might be telling you, How they Think, but How they feel is what’s going to influence their next move. Whether they’re going to buy a product, hire you for a job, or ask you to marry them. These are all influenced by feelings. Understanding how this works can really help you understand your own feelings so much better!

Be Intelligent About Your Emotions At Work

Improving your emotional intelligence can improve your overall workplace performance! Some of the most successful people around you are probably very emotionally smart! You can be too!

Emotions at work

In most offices, you need to motivate others, which involves good communication skills. Being able to read peoples’ nonverbal communication is key! Motivation comes from feelings, not thinking! If you can connect with what’s important to the person you’re dealing with, or connect everyone to an Idea or Mission then you can motivate them in your direction. A person may say they want to buy your product or that they love your service or ideas, but actually they hate it. Isn’t it better to be able to read their nonverbal communication?!

Emotions At Home

Work is important, but home is where we live. If your relationships aren’t very good, nothing at work will matter. It’ll also be harder to focus and concentrate on your job. Why? Because we don’t just leave part of us at home when we head to work for the day. We are our emotions. They’re a BIG part of us, and they go everywhere we go!

Silent argue in couple

Couples who communicate better, have better marriages. Couples who don’t know how to express their emotions intelligently, end up fighting all the time.

As parents, one of the best lessons you can teach your children is the knowledge of emotional intelligence and good modeling of emotionally intelligent behavior is a great way to start.

10 Ways to Build Emotional Intelligence Skills

Actions To Take To Improve Your Emotional Strength Skills:

1. Think About Your Feelings.

Emotional intelligence starts and ends with self and social awareness. Recognizing how you feel and how others feel will help you understand yourself and those around you so much better. What are your emotional strengths and weaknesses? How am I currently feeling? What’s really going on underneath it all?

You can’t learn emotional intelligence by just reading about it. You need to work on it through your thoughts and actions. It’s a process. It’s difficult to change something you can’t see clearly and we don’t see ourselves as others see us!

Figuring out how to better read others has really helped me understand how I come across and how others see me too! So, I can improve how I am portrayed! Sometimes, because of anxiety, stress, or whatever, I get across as rude or mean! Practicing emotional intelligence has helped me fix that!

2. Think Before You Speak And Act.

Such a simple thing, that every person can benefit from. Ever say something out of anger, that you quickly regretted? Or do something without thinking first and ended up completely embarrassed? Me too! Taking the time to think about what you say or do can save you from doing something you’ll regret. It does take some strength, but just like working your glutes at the gym, it gets easier over time!

3. Give Praise.

We all want to be acknowledged for our efforts. When you recognize other people’s achievements, you’ll instantly feel better yourself. It also builds trust!

4. Be Honest.

Being honest about how you’re feeling instead of bottling it up to help others understand you better. You’ll also feel a lot better! It’s not always easy to be honest, especially if it’ll hurt someone’s feelings. I used to agree to things I didn’t necessarily want to do because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But, since I started speaking up and just being honest about how I feel, I’ve become way more confident, and emotionally stronger! I am not saying to be brutally honest! There is a difference, and if you’re emotionally strong you’ll understand it!

5. Let Go Of Grudges.

Forgiving and forgetting is a great way to build your emotional strength! When you hold on to anger toward someone, it’s really only hurting you! Don’t let others control your emotions! By letting go, you’re taking full control of your own emotions!

6. Learn To Say Sorry.

Saying you’re sorry when you’re in the wrong (or sometimes even when you’re not) takes strength. It shows humility, which automatically makes others feel differently about you. If you value a relationship, saying sorry doesn’t mean you’re totally wrong. That means you do care about keeping that relationship strong and moving on!

7. Be Yourself.

This goes hand in hand with being honest. Don’t be afraid to feel what you are feeling and speak it out loud. Pretending to be someone or something else is so exhausting, mentally! Stick by your values and principles and understand that not everyone will agree with it.

8. Accept Criticism.

This is a tough one. No one wants to hear that they’re doing something wrong or that they’re bad at something. It’s always going to be tough to hear, but try and keep your emotions in check and use the criticism to either improve or move on and find something you are great at. You can’t be great at everything!

9. Live In The Moment.

This is so beneficial. I’m usually go-go-go and have a million things on my mind, making it hard to enjoy and live in the moment. I let my thoughts distract me sometimes. Lately, I’ve been trying to make a note to live more at the moment and just enjoy what I’m doing at the time. Writing a to-do list can help you stay organized, and having it all down on paper can help keep it out of your every thought!

10. Learn To Control Yourself.

You can’t always control how you feel, but you can control how to choose to react. An emotionally strong person doesn’t blow up when they’re angry. They think rationally and take a moment to think things over before they react.

Emoticon balls


Just like working out in the gym, it takes time to see natural results when building your emotional strength! It’s easy in the beginning to fall back into old emotional habits, but with time and practice, it is totally possible to improve your emotional strength!

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