In a relationship sometimes we get confused, was that a fake or real apology from him?.
It is one of the things in your relationship you need to know. Sometimes you get an apology from them to just shut you up. I always feel so insulted whenever my husband gives me these fake apologies.
If your men comply with Narcissistic personality disorder. They will imply that you stupid enough to believe these apologies. “I’m sorry” is always fetching a word before it “but.”
They will go to any extent whatever it makes to trap you in their web of lies. Once they feel they have you hooked, they know you will believe anything they tell you. They will be doing their manipulated word games and use backhanded fake apologies.
So how do you know what a true apology is versus a fake one? A real apology will consist of three parts:
I’m sorry, I was wrong, and then how can I make it better. A Narc won’t do that. Why? Because that will show vulnerability, and a Narc personality man can not do that.
A real apology will see you at the core, as in “You are hurting because…” A Narc apology will have themselves at the core, as in “I am hurting because of you….”
So what is the reason for the Narc’s fake apology? The Narcissists know you find out essential information that will expose them, and they will do anything whatever it takes to drag the attention away from themselves. They will twist it around and find a way to blame you as well!
And sadly, some Narcs do not even use the “I’m sorry, but” apologies. They’ll go straight for verbal assault on you.
So statements what will a Narc say? Below are several examples of fake apologies.
1. “I’m sorry, but you also overreacted to everything as well.”
2. “I’m sorry, but everyone was thinking this funny. You don’t have any sense of humor.”
3. “I’m sorry. Now you Happy?”
4. “I’m sorry about that argument. But it was you who started it.”
5. “I’m sorry for abusing you. But you also abused me.”
6. (Loud) “Alright fine. I’m sorry.” (It is said in an angry and sarcastic tone.)
7. “I have already apologized to you. What else do you want more?”
8. “I’m sorry that you do not know but what I do for you, is more than enough for you.”
9. “I’m sorry, but the whole day I am working very hard and just I come home to take rest. Is that more to ask?”
10. “I’m sorry, but I thought to help you. Excuse me for that .”
All these 10 sentences mentioned above will almost always be followed up with a “Can you forgive me” statement. This puts the ball back in the victim’s court. If she says yes, then it’s basically giving the Narc a green light to continue his behavior and he knows he can get away with whatever he wants. If she says no, she’s the bad guy. The Narc will turn around and say, “Well what more do you want from me? I apologized!!”
Words mean nothing if actions remain the same. When we receive these fake apologies, we are left feeling empty and not valued.
What kinds of fake apologies have you heard? Comment below. I appreciate you sharing your stories.